Waking up a bit after midnight each morning, I feel pulled, as if I am being beckoned. As the sleep clears, the beckoning transforms into a yearning. Careful not to wake my wife or children, through the dark of night, I make my way to my meditation room. Closing my eyes, I settle into my Self. Yet, I cannot call it my self. I rest into the soul of God, all knowing and full, content. The call, the yearning is to merge with my God. The subtlest of shifts occurs as my Self transforms into God’s Self. Existence is so exquisitely magical. That shift is so subtle, yet so huge. One moment, I cradle the universe within me. The next, enraptured in humility, I sit with my God, merged with my God, yet distinguished just enough that I may worship my God as other.
How is it, I wonder, that so many feel God is so far away? You ARE God. Your soul is the soul of God. I can’t help feeling that experiencing one’s Self as God is something everyone can easily do. After all, you are one with God. The Kingdom of Heaven dwells within you. Yet, I remember the futility of Krishna Murti’s similar suggestion to his students: “Just be.” One is aware of the Self only to the level to which the physiology is awake.
Please know that God is there, always, deep within you. And, God has many faces, many personas. One moment, God appears as the Goddess: in fact, any one of an infinite number of different Goddesses, each complete with a uniquely palpable being, presence, and feeling of communion.
As you seek peace and divinity, know that it is very nearby… always. It is the sanctity of your own Being. Why, then, is it so elusive to so many? The answer lies in the power of habit. Habit rules attention. Habit is the conditioning of awareness that colors perception, even of your own Self. Conditioning deceives you into thinking the veil between you and God is vast. Truly, however, the veil between you and God is infinitely thin—nonexistent really.
I have thought about teaching meditation in a different way. Instead of having people rest into the Self, have them rest into God. I realize the problem with that lies in the notion of God. What does that word mean? It’s different for everyone. For some, it implies emotional swooning. For others, it incites childhood religious issues. Still, for others, it is a nonsensical term, an opiate of the masses. Superficial echoes of God’s nature abound, including allusions to chicken soup, a rainbow, and a beautiful song.
God is only known after being directly experienced. In that moment, everything changes. You are simultaneously infinitely grand and totally humbled. Held by God, you rest in the arms of God. Your life is orchestrated by that communion. Your daily life gains meaning as every experience is an expression of divine union.
Move beyond an emotional or theoretical union with God. Experience the truth of your nature and the nature of existence. God is closer than you think. Your divinity is the impetus behind your every action. It is only that your attention has been habitually distracted. Viewed biologically, the difficulty is a physiological one. Viewed psychologically, it is a state of confusion. Your job is simply to brush away those cobwebs. They create such feelings of loss, despair, desperation, alienation, and fear. What lies ever so slightly beneath the surface of life is profoundly exquisite, sublime, and naturally yours. Embrace the tactile, visceral, non-abstract, and completely non-metaphysical experience of your own divinity. Allow it to be blatantly obvious.
Through your personal process, churn the ocean of your inner landscape. Through meditation, rest into your own Self. In time, you will come to know the deepest nature of your Self. In that moment, God becomes Self-evident. Isn’t life a wonder? The true final frontier, the greatest challenge for all humanity throughout the ages, is to discover that which is Self-evident. The mountains of spiritual doctrine, eons of yearning, and relentless pursuits in limitless directions are all in the name of that.
The intent of this article is to lay before you the truth of your Being—to point you in a direction that requires cultivation. Consider yourself blessed to have the opportunity to pursue it with eyes and ears wide open.
© Michael Mamas, 10/07